Five Minute Friday: Remember

BipolarIt’s a lot easier to forget than it is to remember. But it’s a lot more important to remember than it is to forget.

At least it is for me.

I have a kind of manic-depression (bi-polar, which is a stupid name, frankly) that’s called rapid cycling. That means the time spent wallowing in the valley or shouting on the mountaintop is a lot briefer than it is for most people with the “garden variety” of manic-depression. I usually spend just a few days in either place, maybe a couple weeks, though sometimes the depression can last a month or so.

But it never fails that when I’m in the valley, it seems like the sun has never shone. I beg for prayers. I lie, weeping, on my bed; or numb. Mostly numb.

Then the clouds part, and the sun comes out and everything is just the Best. Thing. Ever.

Oh, you wouldn’t believe the happy in our house this morning. And it’s only going to get better.

For a few days.

Then I’ll be back in the tar pits.

That’s why It’s important for me to remember: as regularly as night follows day, I’m going to get depressed again. And just as regularly, I’ll return to happy. Remembering gives me a chance to prepare for the bad times (cooking ahead, doing laundry, getting some fun time in away from home), and, honestly, keeps me from wanting to carry through with the evil plans I think will relieve my darkness.

Thank God for remembering. Even when I forget.

*****5-minute-friday-1

What’s Five Minute Friday?

A blog-prompt project dreamt up by LisaJo Baker, which you can read about here. The basic idea is that you spend five minutes of writing, generally unedited (I correct typos, WAY too OCD not to do that), on a prompt that she provides just after midnight via a tweet, then spread the word, and link up. Interested? Join up. Enjoy a delightful assortment by clicking on the picture to the right.

Today’s Five Minute Friday selection is also here!

Five Favorites: Part Deux

Five Favorites Moxie Wife Joining up with some other ladies to exchange a diet of delights as we share the five favorite things that’ve recently caught our attention. Low key fun all around, and a great way to discover some interesting things.

1. Aussi Instant Freeze Spray

Aussi Instant Freeze Hairspray

My go-to hair spray–this stuff is amazing. They call it Instant Freeze, and they’re not kidding.
I really think it could suspend me off the ground. Just sayin’…

2. Knitting Socks

New socks for Sophia 001

I knit. All the time. I carry knitting in my purse. Socks are the most useful things, and they fit. Easily.
I made these for my daughter last year.

3. Papal Conclave

Papal Conclave

http://www.ewtn.com/multimedia/live_player.asp

The waiting is the hardest part.

3. Rolling Stone Magazine

Rolling Stone Johnny Depp Cover

People sometimes ask me how I manage to stay abreast of pop culture without watching television. This is it.
Bonus picture of Johnny Depp!

4. Brocante Home

Brocante Home header

Cute and oh-so-very-British! Housekeeping superstars, unite!
Charming vintage pictures and tips, all served up by a lovely lady, Alison.

5. Laura Ingalls Wilder

Laura Ingalls Wilder

I saw the very first episodes of Little House on the Prairie on television, and then I found the books. Even better!
(Believe me, the TV series may be interesting, but it’s not for aficionados)
Always inspiring, never objectionable.

God-Sized Dreams: Wanting More

God-Sized-Button-150x150 I’m afraid to dream. I am.

This week’s assignment (being shared here) was:

Link-up your blog post sharing: What do you really want more of in your life? Will you dare to say it out loud? Hint: it probably means having less of something too {ex: more joy, less stress}.

So, for me, it’s pretty basic. I want more confidence that pursuing ANYTHING in the way of a future will not be constantly derailed by depression, OCD or ADHD.

Up to this point in my entire life, every single dream (Dreams? Let’s just ratchet that down to a vague idea.) I’ve ever entertained for more than a month has been yanked off the tracks by the mental illnesses I struggle with. (I’m not even getting treatment right now—not my choice–so that’s not helping.) I can’t bring myself to believe that all God wants for me is to make it through my days without killing myself. Puh-leeze…

I’m taking baby steps right now, just to fight the unrelenting numbness. It helps. This month, it’s getting out of bed every single day, without fail. (If you suffer from depression, or know anyone who does, you’ll realize how much of an accomplishment this is.) I’m helping my daughter with her homework. I’m trying to clean the house and keep up. I’m taking my prescriptions to fight the anemia and the high blood pressure.

I’m reading Holley’s book, You Are Made for a God-Sized Dream. It’s a great book—really, it is. I just have a hard time believing that I, too, can have a God-sized dream. I’ve already learned one super encouraging thing: that a God-sized dream isn’t necessarily a huge, Mother Teresa-like, documentary-movie-worthy dream you’re going to hear about on the news, or from the pulpit at church. Thank God, really, because that probably isn’t going to happen. Holley writes,

I believe everyone has God-sized dreams. It’s not about how big or small they are, because [God] creates each one to perfectly fit the size of your heart.

How hopeful is that? Pretty hopeful, if you ask me. So, I just keep plugging away. I just keep asking, “Okay, God, where are we going with this? What do You have for me? I know You have something for me, I do.”

***

I feel like a fake, but I’m linking up with Holley Gerth and other ladies pursuing God-sized dreams at her blog here.

Five Minute Friday: Home

There's no place like home!

“There’s no place like home!”

It really didn’t hit me until after my mom died how much responsibility a woman is under to be the thermostat of the home environment. “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” couldn’t be more true.

So the fact that while I love the idea being a homemaker, I basically suck at the actual practice of it. Oh, I can vacuum and dust like I trained at Downton Abbey, but I’m not good at decorating, and if it wasn’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t send a single birthday card. Preplanning meals and cutting coupons are things I admire and long to do, but along the same lines as I admire people who work with lions at the zoo. Cool job environment, but one to be approached warily.

Maybe it’s the depression and the ADHD or something, but all the best laid housekeeping schemes in the world, all the planning calendars and color-coded file boxes I ever start end up gathering dust while I spend another week in bed with the covers pulled over my head to ward off engagement with the world.

When I played house and dolls as a child, I never once incorporated the line, “Oh, and here’s the mommy doll. She’s too sad to get up today, so the laundry will probably mildew in the washer. Yay!”

Nope. Never saw that coming.

*****5-minute-friday-1

What’s Five Minute Friday?

A blog-prompt project dreamt up by LisaJo Baker, which you can read about here. The skinny is that you spend five minutes of writing, generally unedited (I correct typos, WAY too OCD not to do that), on a prompt that she provides just after midnight via a tweet, then spread the word, and link up. Interested? Join up. Feast your eyes on today’s buffet of tasty entries by clicking on the picture to the right!

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Five Favorites: Volume 1

Five Favorites Moxie Wife“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…” Those were certainly Maria’s favorites, and while I’m not saying they’re not adorable, I’ve got some other things in mind.

This week I’m linking up with a delightful blog called Moxie Wife for a little doo-dad she calls “Five Favorites.”

And away we go, though not necessarily in order of favoritism!

1. Antique holy cards.

Holy family Turgis 1040

I can’t get enough of them, and really, how can that be a sin?
The site for this card is here!

2. Best parody song video. Ever.

Russian Unicorn

Look, I love me some Michael Bublé, but this is a scream.
You know it’s great when Mr. Bublé himself loves it. Watch this!

3. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux

Therese of Lisieux as Jeanne d'Arc

Oh, she’s just the best. If you don’t like her, it’s only because you don’t know her.
This picture shows her dressed as Jeanne d’Arc.

4. My utterly brilliant daughter, Sophia

gardening 008

Choosing her name was easy.
It had to have significant religious meaning,
and be suitable for a Supreme Court Justice.

5. Laurel’s Kitchen Bread Book

Laurel's Kitchen Bread Book Updated Version

The only bread-making book you’ll really ever need.

Five Minute Friday: Ordinary

Brine shrimp. Laboratory picture

Brine shrimp. Laboratory picture (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I noticed it this morning when I was taking a shower. Yeah, that’s pretty ordinary, taking a shower. Unless you have no running water.

Ordinary is all a matter of perspective. What you think is ordinary is hardly what’s ordinary to someone else. My ordinary isn’t your ordinary.

When my daughter was eight or nine we got Sea Monkeys. You know, the all-too-ordinary brine shrimp, packaged to look like the royalty of the undersea realm. Yeah, right. They’re shrimp—and not even edible ones. I warned her, “You do understand, don’t you, that they’re not really going to wear crowns, like this picture shows?” “Yeah, mom, can we make them now?” Five minutes, a jar of water, and the contents of a little plastic packet, and she was in heaven. “Ooohh! Look, they’re swimming! They’re so tiny! Mom, can you see them!?” Yeah, I could see them. But what I saw was brine shrimp. Pretty ordinary. What she saw? Amazing!

***** 5-minute-friday-1

What’s Five Minute Friday?

A blog-prompt project dreamt up by LisaJo Baker, which you can read about here. The skinny is that you spend five minutes of writing, generally unedited (I correct typos, WAY too OCD not to do that, and set up links), on a prompt that she provides just after midnight via a tweet, then spread the word, and link up. Interested? Join up. Check it out.