Five Minute Friday: Worship

Sunlight WorshipYou’ll know it after it happens, but probably not during.

It could happen anywhere. Dancing in a moonlit grove. Kneeling in a quiet cathedral. Chanting with some Tibetan Buddhists. Washing the dishes.

And you’re caught up in the moment, and the moment is forever, and the moment is a moment, and the moment is God. You’re dumbstruck, or you’re laughing, or you’re crying, or…well, you’re not really sure. You’re…just… worshiping.

Something catches you, and there’s a sense of realization, and thankfulness, and wonder. There’s a sense of stupefaction, and ecstasy, and joy. There’s a sense of inadequacy, and the simultaneous feeling that your inadequacy doesn’t matter.

*****5-minute-friday-1

What’s Five Minute Friday?

A blog-prompt project dreamt up by LisaJo Baker, which you can read about here. The basic idea is that you spend five minutes of writing, generally unedited (I correct typos, WAY too OCD not to do that), on a prompt that she provides just after midnight via a tweet, then spread the word, and link up. Interested? Join up. Enjoy a delightful assortment by clicking on the picture to the right.

Today’s Five Minute Friday selection is also, for today only, at the {in}courage website, which is here!

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Them thar’s fightin’ wurds!

Just shut your beak!I got in a fight yesterday.

It may not have been a fistfight, but it wasn’t any prettier.

I didn’t start it (though I’m sure the other person didn’t think that, either) and I didn’t finish it, but that doesn’t make it right. Or wrong. It just was.

I know, I know. I should’ve known better than to step into the ring. These things never end well. (Sometimes it seems they never end.) But when somebody jumps you in an discussional back alley, with a lead pipe of doctrine, and they’re part of a gang you thought you were already a member of, well, things quickly escalate. I started thinking.

“I’m just trying to defend my position.”

“There must be some misunderstanding.”

“Maybe I could try a different angle.”

“Aarrgghh….”

That never works. Well, it hardly ever works. And I’m not saying the other person was wrong. I’m just saying I don’t think I was either.

Finally, I just gritted my teeth and backed out. Then I called a friend and we hashed it out. There’s really not much more soothing to the wounds of intellectual violence than the healing balm of shared opinion.

“No, I think you’re right. I feel the same way.”

I’m not sure if I’ll ever learn. But some days, I think I’m getting better.

This time, with feeling…

Weeping Grave MarkerWalking along, I watch the breeze ruffle my long skirt around my ankles. It’s really hot out, but I needed to walk. Amazing how walking gives clarity, The simple action of placing one foot in front of the other quiets the mind. Or does it?

It’s been seven days since we last talked. Seven days fraught with enough emotional turbulence to make even the doughtiest counselor cringe away from entering the cockpit of my mind. Belligerent fury, sobbing anguish, exhausted relief. It’s been like a checklist for some sort of drama workshop.

“Read that line again, but this time, show me your exasperated humor.”

“Hmmm…how about disbelieving agony?”

“Your previously unimagined gratitude?”

I think I’ll just stick with sad.

I head back home to write.

Five Minute Friday: Last

Antique Cobbler's LastsI have nothing to say, but I’m writing anyway.

Last. What am I to make of that?

Last place? Last in line? Last to get married? Last one to know? Thought it’d never last? 

Losers are the ones that come in last, and I’m feeling like a loser.

I shouldn’t, but I am.

I did nothing wrong, and that’s how I know I’m right.

So why am I feeling bad?

Guilty of no real wrongdoing. Knowing that. Still feeling like a loser. God is good. I’m glad I know. It was a learning experience. I will survive the loss. I’m better off.

I didn’t want to blog about any of this. Why? Because I felt ashamed. Stupid. Like a loser. And then I remembered my word for this year was unashamed. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. My head is lifting. My shoes are not scuffing the ground. I’m not in bed anymore. No more tears. None.

Thus, the last will be first… (Matthew 20:16a)

*****5-minute-friday-1

What’s Five Minute Friday?

A blog-prompt project dreamt up by LisaJo Baker, which you can read about here. The basic idea is that you spend five minutes of writing, generally unedited (I correct typos, WAY too OCD not to do that), on a prompt that she provides just after midnight via a tweet, then spread the word, and link up. Interested? Join up. Enjoy a delightful assortment by clicking on the picture to the right.

Today’s Five Minute Friday selection is also here!

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