What’s Yours?

Calvin and Hobbs ResolutionsEverybody makes ‘em. Nobody keeps ‘em. Yeah. I’m talking about New Year’s resolutions.

You have to admit, they show good intention. People always mention that they want to lose weight, start exercising, manage their budget better, invest wisely, save more money, become a better parent, the lists go on. And on.

Why, honestly, do we bother? I have never yet met a person who made a New Year’s resolution that they managed to keep. Ever. Past February. (If you have, please comment, because I want to arrange a meeting with you and other world leaders.) Given that, I am starting an entirely new style of resolution, which is based on the principal of reverse psychology. It’s a well-known fact that, since the Garden of Eden, people can’t seem to avoid doing either the very thing someone tells them not to do, or just the opposite of what they are supposed to do.

So, my New Year’s Resolutions are as follows:

  • Utterly trash my home and become an unrepentant hoarder;
  • Become a recluse who shuns human contact, especially with my aging parents and any close friends;
  • Gain as much weight as is humanly possible by never cooking or eating anything healthy, let alone by attempting anything that even resembles exercise;
  • Never keep track of appointments or dates and never, ever return phone calls the same day;
  • Avoid anything that smacks of spirituality or any kind of organized religion;
  • Shamelessly prowl Facebook and Twitter All Day Long;
  • Relentlessly pursue anything that might depress me, most notably by staying in bed all day;
  • Spend my money on whimsical items that have no enduring value whatsoever; and
  • Write as little as possible.

I’ll NEVER tell you how that’s going.

Too Much Is Never Enough

Sort of like my brain, but more organized!Some people probably think I’m a hoarder. And they might be right. But my hoarding tendencies go far beyond the usual I-Have-No-Room-In-My-Basement/Attic/Back Room/Guest Room/Fill-In-The Blank Room. I’m a virtual hoarder.

I hoard ideas.

My brain can barely function some days because I’ve got so many ideas jockeying for space it’s like the opening bell at the NYSE. This is exactly why I don’t write as much as I’d like: I can’t decide on a topic. I mean, I still haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up. The ADHD I’ve got going on is enough to drive me around the bend. There’s a constant clamor of whatever book I’m currently reading  (and since I’m usually reading at least three books at the same time, you can see how useful that is) joined to the latest on whatever blog I’m reading (again, a number of them), accompanied by the unrelenting chatter of Facebook, and subtly influenced by the latest sermon I’ve heard.

For example. My daughter, Sophia, is taking theology at college (gotta love that). Her final exegetical paper was on the annunciation story of Samson in the Book of Judges. She bounced a lot of ideas off me, and I helped her research and type her paper. However, one of my favorite stories in Judges (indeed, in the whole Bible) is the story of Jepthah’s daughter. So, while I was finding articles in scholarly journals for her paper, I happened to find a number of them on my interest, which I gleefully saved to my computer for later perusal. And that’s the problem.

I have files on my computer for all sorts of things. It’s like a Victorian curiosity cabinet of all the strange, macabre, beautiful, interesting, novel, thought-provoking ideas. I’ve been going through my computer lately, trying to organize the pictures, and purge out the things I don’t need. What a bad idea! Now ideas that were long-ago novelties have come back, front and center, threatening to upstage my current favorites like an aging star of the silent screen who can’t get over these new talking pictures! (Did you guess? I like silent films, too.)

So, one solution is just to trash everything, purging out the files of everything I haven’t used in a year, like we’re always told to do with our closets. But that doesn’t work for me, because like most of my clothes, I can’t bear to get rid of them. (The clothes still fit, after all!) Those ideas just might come in handy someday.

Red Letter Day

Well, not really, since this isn’t a newspaper, but you get the idea.

Miscellaneous 006After another bout (albeit shorter than usual) of discouragement and almost-but-not-quite depression, I’ve once again joined the ranks of the living, and had a banner day. I decided to go out and get the thread I needed to do all the mending. While this sounds pretty dull, it required a trip across town. Once I was there, I serendipitously discovered something I wanted, but hadn’t really been deliberately looking for: a new doormat! And such a pretty one! It looks really nice on the doorstep.

And I got some new yarn for sock knitting. I’ve got plenty of yarn, there’s no doubt of that. But while I know it’s around somewhere, I can’t determine which box it’s in. So, until it’s discovered, I just bought some more. After all, it’s not like it’s going to go bad!

After leaving Joann Fabrics, I discovered there was a Half Price Books nearby, where I naturally stopped. Finding what I’ve been looking for was not the result, but I did find things I wasn’t really looking for. (Not too hard to do, n’est-ce pas?)

Then, after leaving Half Price Books, I noted that Kopps Frozen Custard had none other than KEY LIME PIE as a flavor of the day! Triple Hip, Hip Hooray! Leaving Kopps with a scoop of deliciousness in a dish, I then spotted an Office Depot. I happened in and found some old school index card divider sets and a large card tray (the kind that holds about a thousand cards). Since I use a lot of index cards for a wide variety of things, but had long since given up on finding these trays (I thought they were hopelessly out of date), I literally danced up to the register.

Miscellaneous 007Lest you think that all this awesomeness must surely be enough, upon returning home, I reached into the ball of yarn to start it out to cast on the next pair of socks, and, lo and behold, for the very first time in my entire life, pulled out a single strand of yarn, instead of an entire blob (poetically called “yarn barfing”)!

Miscellaneous 017And if all this wasn’t enough, I voted in the Wisconsin primary, like the good citizen I am!

My Pleasure In Creases

Iron love...or is it lust?

Ironing, what’s not to love? Almost instant gratification that lasts longer than a dinner party! Hooray! (Of course, if I had this adoring swain by my board, I might engage in it a bit more often!) There’s nothing like the warm smell of linen, and the hiss of the steam as it puffs from the sole plate (Maybe it should be called the “soul” plate?), not to mention the satisfying feeling I get from seeing the wrinkles disappear from underneath my gliding hand. Ahhh…bliss.

Now that the weather is getting hotter, I’m trying to get more of it done early in the morning when it’s still pretty cool. Otherwise, it can get a tad warm. Fortunately, the mornings are still quite cool. So, I’m doing all the linens as I come across them in the unpacking. By linens, I do not mean sheets. (There is a limit.) I’m talking table linens, dresser scarves, and the like.

No more excuses!

Yumster in waiting!

I still haven’t unpacked my bread pans, so I’ve been waiting to bake bread here. But it was bugging me, and Paul and Lindsay were both asking about it. So, no more excuses. I decided, “What kind of a baker am I if I can’t bake bread without a pan?” So here we are, bread dough rising. I’ll just make a shaped loaf, and I’m sure it’ll be just as tasty as it would if I used a pan! Just less suitable for toast. So what.

Spinning plates… or just one full one?

Just one of those days...Who isn’t amazed by those lads and lasses who balance a number of plates, keeping them all spinning at the end of various lengths of pole. And who hasn’t felt like one of those fellows, when there’s a lot of tasks to be done, all seeming to be of equal importance so that prioritizing seems impossible? I’m right there, these days.Just one berry wide!

Or maybe it’s more like a smorgasbord. Like a church supper where there’s so many kinds of delectable desserts that it’s so hard to choose just one. Or even four. (Yes, I can see you smiling! You’ve done that. Loaded a plate full of postage stamp sized pieces of cake. Slivers of pie so thin the light shines through the filling like a fruit studded stained glass window. Tea Cup in IrelandServings of pudding so dainty they’d barely fill a Protestant communion cup! Yes. But I digress…)

My days are like that now. I’ve got so many possibilities that I really almost feel like just avoiding all of them. I’m almost to the point where I’m ready to plop down on the sofa, curl up with a good book and a cup of tea (from Teavana, passion du jour), and read the day away.

But I can’t. Well…maybe just for a little while…